Well hey there..

Wow, I haven't written since November, there's tons to catch up on. Husband is STILL deployed. Hands down, this is the longest deployment EVER. Okay, maybe not ever, but for us, yes! We have just a few short months to go, due to OPSEC I can't tell you, sorry ;) 

November we celebrated Thanksgiving, where I hosted dinner for 4 of my friends! It was a great time, and my mom was in town, a couple days after my oldest little man turned THREE! So hard to believe, that 3 years have passed already! We had a skype session that month, it was fantastic. I always enjoy skype sessions. I ended up snagging 2 full time baby sitting positions, they are going well and it's really nice to have some extra money to throw around every week! Plus, the best part? I get to still be home with my little men! 

December, my inlaws came out for Christmas, it was nice to have them here. My little men were spoiled beyond belief, I was even shocked on how much I had shopped, maybe there really is a Santa and he snuck a bunch of stuff in my storage closet ;) LOL! Yes, that's what we'll go with. Husband was able to skype a couple days before Christmas, so "Santa" made a pit stop at our house a couple days before Christmas, so daddy could feel included. It was nice, and I know he really enjoyed it! 

January, was January! New Year. New Goals. So on and so forth ;) Nothing to exciting happened in January! 2014 though is going to be an amazing year! 

End of deployment, new orders, late honeymoon, it's going to be awesome!!! 

Now here we are in February, SEAHAWKS WON THE SUPERBOWL!!! :D Oh yeah, talk about one happy husband, he's a DIE HARD Seahawk!!! :D But truly, I think that's it. Homecoming items are beginning to be ordered! It's so amazing to finally be at that point! 

USS Barry Homecoming

Now, I'm no photographer but when a friend of mine asked me to shoot her homecoming I hopped ALL over the chance! :) It felt amazing to watch my good friend get her husband back after a long 9 month deployment, it was an even more amazing feeling watching him hug his children for the first time in 9 months! 

Makes me so anxious for my homecoming. 

I know I haven't been around in awhile, but I'm on a bit of a time crunch, but I will update how things are in my life soon..promise! 

On that note, here's some photos from the homecoming :) 

A Shout Out To A Newer Blogger

This won't be one of my "normal" posts, but a very dear friend of mine has started blogging, and I couldn't be more proud of her for it! 

Meet Hannah. 

Hannah and I met in 2010 online on a military spouse support site when her husband was serving in the Marine Corps, Hannah and I immediately clicked and became friends when in March of 2010 we both found out we were EXPECTING our first child, Fast forward to June of 2010, we both scheduled our "sex ultrasounds" and could hardly contain ourselves with finding out what one another was having, but when I had received a text message that their Precious little girl had passed away, I was devastated  I've never lost a child, but it terrified me to pieces. But I know Phoebe (their precious baby girl) was present when I gave birth to Christopher in November of 2010 it was such a horrible labor, but I know she was there protecting him! And that gave me comfort <3

(our due dates were just a week apart from each other) 

In May of 2012, they gave birth to a GORGEOUS baby boy named Randy Lee "RJ" for short. He was loved by everyone, I had never even met him and I loved him! But just 9 short days later, their little boy had passed away, this hit thousands of people all across the country, and the world! No one expected this. 

Hannah is one of the most incredible and strongest people I have EVER met and I am so blessed to call her one of my "best friends" 

We have yet to meet in person, but one day we will and it will be the greatest day :) 

http://survivingrj.blogspot.com/2013/08/loved-story-of-rj.html

Here is a link to her blog, please make sure to check it out! 

"Craving him"

So just here lately I've just been craving his touch. Not 'sexual' just, a hug, holding his hand and I would DIE for a kiss from him!! Heck, I just want to be in the same room as him!!!! I just want to feel his energy, mad, sad, happy, I don't care, Oh what I wouldn't give to have this over already. Just to know that he is here would make me happy. And he does his best, and I'm SUPER PROUD OF HIM, he calls me when he can, and emails me every night that he can, and we video chat when he's in port..but it's just not the same. His scent is gone from literally everything in our bedroom. I have put away all of his stuff. And up until this point RIGHT HERE, I have been doing super good.

I have a Donut of Misery. I have small goals I set for myself, 'Ok we won't look at it until it says x days to go'. And they are small usually about 2-4 days apart, something I know I can handle. And sometimes I get so busy I go over and forget. That has helped me pass the time. So far my PERSONAL countdown is further along than I thought I would be at this point. Christopher's countdown, not going as easy as I thought it would. He keeps asking me if Daddy is home. Or he will ask WHEN Daddy is coming home. And of course how do you respond to those questions? How do I put them into 2 year old terms so that he can understand? I can't just say, 'Oh hunny, Don't worry Daddy will be home on xx day'. Like he really understands time anyway. And we all know that ETA date will change 4-5 times on a GOOD day! 

In ways I'm glad we are going through this deployment. I know it will make us stronger in our marriage, just like the last one. It will make us stronger as individuals, and most importantly, we will get to save money. I'll just focus on that for now. We have been handed an opportunity. Find a way to see a positive in it.  He is going out and seeing the world! He is appreciating everything the Navy has to offer him. For me, SAVING MONEY. There is so much to appreciate in this, you just have to open your eyes.

The Writing Plateau!

In 4 years of sea duty, I've never had one. Well, of course I've had them on my blog. But never in my emails to Robert. He has always been my 'go to' person. Now.. I just have nothing to say. Besides the ‘I miss you, I love you, we’re doing good here’

Or I have LOTS to say, but it's things that I'm not supposed to say because it would 'lower moral' and deemed inappropriate. Sometimes I just need confide in him. Like right now, I would love to tell him how I work night shifts, day shifts, I work thru my lunch, dinner and ANY breaks I get, and how the drama has begun. Because that's Navy Wife life when your Sailor is gone. Drama. Drama. and MORE DRAMA! But instead, I send 1 lines that usually say encouraging words and that we miss and love him.

The truth is, I'm burned out.

I said it. I finally said it. I admit it finally!!!

See, all of this I NEED to tell my husband. I NEED to talk to him as if he were here. But I can't. I can't tell him anything that would make him worry. "Mission First Right?" 

See, ^^ no writing plateau here! I just don't know what to say to him. I can't lie to him. I never could. So I say what I can say and end it. Sometimes I think I'm angry as well. Like I said, I'm basically working 24/7, NO BREAKS!!!! Last deployment was a CAKE WALK compared to this one! I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to SHUT UP. And I'm sure as time goes on, I will continue to say this lol. This year I have TWO KIDS, 16 months apart at that..and Owen is... well... lol if you are on my FB you know. He is my needy baby lol. So a break would be nice. Robert has missed SO MUCH of the boys lives. And I'm angry, I want him right beside me through it all. I NEED him there! And he just can't be...and I know that, but it doesn't mean I like it AT ALL!!! lol

I have a coffee cup that I bought when I was a 'new wife', it says, 'Navy Wife is the Hardest Job in the Navy'. I don't agree with that anymore. The SAILOR'S is. They leave their families for months at a time. They come home to completely different kids. Sometimes their kids don't even recognize them. The thought of Owen not recognizing his Daddy scares me, and saddens me. He's young. We do the daddy doll, we do the record-able-books, we do the build a bears. But it still sucks!!!

But when I have days/weeks like this, I look at my coffee cup and think, y'know, he may have the hardest, but mine has GOT to be the second hardest. ;)

Clashing of worlds

I realized why Navy Wives clash, seriously.....ready for it?!

We all come from different parts of the world. We do, some people are raised in the country, some in the city, some in not great parts of town. We ALL come from different parts of the world. Now, I was raised in a small town of just a little over 350. Yeah, that's not very many. I was raised in the Boondocks. Hands down. Loved every minute of it. And when I married my husband, I was thrown into city life. Norfolk is way to city for me. I miss the small town feel, I miss the lake, I miss the people I grew up with. It makes me sad when I think about my boys will never be raised in the boondocks like I was. I was raised to respect your elders, I was raised to always be blunt. You never spoke behind someone's back. We were upfront as upfront could be. I'm still that way, I think that's why I don't click well with people, because some people think it's cute to talk behind your back. I was raised where our 'friday night fun' was spent watching truck pulls, in the mud and bonfires. We ran our pickup's through mud. 

THAT WAS OUR FUN!

We all come from different ways of raisin', and I think that's why some of us clash! I miss my small town folks. I do I do. I think sometimes people forget that we're not all from the same area. It's just like I have a way I act at home, because I know I can be a DOWN RIGHT REDNECK and not get judged for it. But when I'm in "city mode" I feel like my "redneck" can only come out sometimes, and that makes me sad. People can be way to harsh sometimes for you to act yourself around them, imagine that...sometimes you can't be yourself. It's stupid if you ask me. I've never been the person though that likes to be judged. I always hated judgement from people, and I feel like in this lifestyle there's always someone behind you, in front of you or beside you that's judging like you've never been judged before, no matter what it is, the way you're dressed, you're parenting, your car, your life in general. It's sad that I can point that out. Maybe it's because I've never been the one to judge someone before I knew the person! People are way to quick to judge sometimes. So here's my look on this; STOP JUDGING PEOPLE. 

Well hello there bloggers :)

I haven't been a round lately, but I'm back and for awhile now.

Why you ask? Well, husband is officially deployed, sadly! He left a few days ago.

"Hello, USS Harry S. Truman God Speed. Fair Winds & Following Seas, My Love"

We really enjoyed the last little bit of time we had left together, we were even able to squeeze in some pre-deployment pictures, before he left which are going to help the boys and I get through the next X amount of months. This deployment is a bit longer then our last one, that's for sure. But what do they say? 

"True Love will survive any amount of time or distance"

I fully believe that, because the strong will survive, and the weak will crumble. Last time, I wrote I had said we decided to move home for deployment, well that all changed just a few short weeks ago, when we got a call we've been waiting for! We were offered a house in the newest housing in Norfolk! It's gorgeous housing, We knew we just HAD to take it, because who knew when a house would be available there, again! They don't come available to often! We just knew that it was a sign we needed to stay here. So now that that's happening, my dad is coming out for a bit to help me move in, in just a FEW SHORT WEEKS! :) That should keep me busy for awhile getting a house perfect and ready! I will also be starting school once we're settled in thanks to an awesome friend who has offered to help with the kids, so I could return back to school to get my LPN! But that is really all that's new in my world, I will share just a couple of our pictures from our pre-deployment session <3