......

I'm not even sure what to put as a title, but this is going to be a "pity post". You know I've done this underway thing MANY TIMES, I've lost count on how many underways he's done. But it doesn't make it any easier, I've dropped him off at the pier's and watched him walk away with that big green sea bag, packed full of NWU's, dress uniforms, pictures and snacks! (because they ship food isn't all that good! ALTHOUGH he said the new ship's food is AMAZING compared to the Stennis, lol) many of times, and it NEVER EVER EVER fails I'm driving off that base with my eyes swelled with tears and 90% of the way home I'm crying. I stop crying for a while, but AS SOON as the kids head to bed, the house is quiet and I'm at it again! It's when I'm alone it really hits me that he's gone, I'm back to a big empty queen sized bed, back to cooking for one (Christopher will SOMETIMES eat what I'm having but MOST of the time he wants chicken nuggets and fruit) and oh, not to mention I sleep TERRIBLY when he's away! I awake to the smallest noises, and I'm constantly checking on the boys! There's times I'll stick them both in bed with me so I'm not alone, although Owen is pretty much always sleeping with me when hubby is gone. 
Yeah, I hate being alone. I hate the underway cycle, I hate deployment's.
Okay, I need to cut it out now, but both boys are asleep, so I probably should go there myself, even if I don't sleep...lol